Someone Dares to Write a Satire About President Obama!

Daniel Greenfield of the Celebrity News Network has written an obituary in advance of its time:

He was the first black President of the United States, and he also became its last President when in 2019, after his term in office had been extended indefinitely by HR:0666 or “The Hope and Faith in Obama’s Everlasting Presidency Act,” he was forced to leave office because the government had run out of money to pay for itself.

Though he lived a very public life, few could agree on even the basic facts of his life, such as where he was born, who his father was, or what his real name was, or even what race and gender he was. For a man who spent most of his life before the camera, his death leaves us with few answers about who Barack Obama really was. Obama himself did not help matters by using multiple names, multiple birthplaces and even passports...

There is no denying that Obama cheerfully used fraud and strong arm tactics throughout his political career, but the chief weapon in his arsenal was flattery. Many of his supporters remember the special feeling of being made to feel that he was their friend. As one former aide wrote, “He taught us to laugh, he made us believe, and then he took all our money”.

This conflicted legacy helps explain Barack Obama’s popularity, even after his corruption and abuses of power destroyed the United States government, ending the era of the United States for good-- he was ranked 4th on the prestigious Dow Jones’ “Most Likable Celebrities in North America in 2019” index.

It helped that Obama left the White House voluntarily after learning that there would be no more money left for his trips abroad, and that due to the failure of the Federal Reserve and the secession of 23 states from the Union, no national budget would be possible. He did of course leave with everything of value in the White House that his family and associates could grab or pry out of the walls, but by then most Americans were too busy dealing with the problems of the Great Partition to notice. Even the farewell party that burned down most of the White House seemed a small thing in the wake of the Detroit Food Riots or the discovery of the Red River Gulag....

In Arizona, Obama’s former political rival, the 102 year former Senator, John McCain, sent his own condolences. Once considered too old compared to Barack Obama, McCain noted ironically that he had in fact outlived him, while also passing along the wishes of his now 126 year old mother. As well as his daughter Meghan McCain, off in space as the First Woman on Mars.

From the United States of Alaska, to the Democratic People’s Republic of Minnesota, from the bloody trench warfare of Westchester County to the farthest South American outposts of the Empire of Texas, the messages of sympathy came in tribute on the passing of the man who had made their existence possible.

These are just excerpts from a much longer article. The more you read, the richer it gets.