What’s Next? Two-Ply Need Not Apply

This alarming news item appeared on my Facebook page today, courtesy of the Heritage Foundation.
Today at 12:11pm
First they came for your car. Then for your cheeseburger. Now those crazy environmentalists want to control how you wipe. No really. The Washington Post reports:

There is a battle for America’s behinds.

It is a fight over toilet paper: the kind that is blanket-fluffy and getting fluffier so fast that manufacturers are running out of synonyms for “soft” (Quilted Northern Ultra Plush is the first big brand to go three-ply and three-adjective).

It’s a menace, environmental groups say — and a dark-comedy example of American excess.

The reason, they say, is that plush U.S. toilet paper is usually made by chopping down and grinding up trees that were decades or even a century old. They want Americans, like Europeans, to wipe with tissue made from recycled paper goods.

So stock up while you can America, because Al Gore and Nancy Pelosi are coming after your bathroom. Again.