Check out his latest in the continuing parallel-universe series, "In My World." The following is an excerpt from a presidential press conference. Since the Rumsfeld Strangler wasn't present, not a single reporter lost his life.
"Are you going to drill in ANWR?" a reporter asked.
"Why wouldn't we? Who would stop us? Moose? Eskimos? We can handle them. I'm thinking we'll also drill in Canada. I hear they have oil there and they don't have any use for it because they're not technologically advanced enough."
"Will we be drilling in Iraq?"
Bush looked confused. "There's oil there?"
"What about research into alternative fuels," another reporter asked.
"I have a clock that runs on a potato," Bush said. "It's pretty neat."
"I mean how about paying others to do research into alternative fuel?"
"Oh. Well, we're doing that. The drill we're using in Yellowstone runs on ethanol. With research like that, we'll be able to continue to drill for oil even if we run out of oil."
"What about alternative fuels for cars?"
"It's has always been the position of my administration that that is gay." He checked his watch. "I'm getting tired of this. Is my presidency over yet?"
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